Saturday, June 07, 2008

under the weather...way under





I've been feeling a little under the weather lately. Well...it seems more like "directly under a rainstorm" under. I think it's stress related. It may even be that I'm going through some kind of mild depression or something. I was bored and googled my symptoms. Most of the links pointed to depression.

Minor depression is defined as a mood disturbance of at least 2 weeks' duration, with between two and five symptoms of depression, including depressed mood, diminished interest, weight change, sleep disturbance, psychomotor changes, fatigue, feelings of worthlessness, poor concentration, and recurrent thoughts of death. Patients with this condition may have fewer vegetative symptoms (appetite, diurnal mood variation) and more subjective symptoms (self-blame, worry, irritability, lethargy).

I tell Pooh that I might be going through depression or some kind of pre-midlife-crisis but he thinks I'm just being facetious; and I am...kinda. I think we all use humor to hide our insecurities. I'm a very optimistic, happy, positive person. I don't actually express my negative feelings and inner emotions very well. I usually keep those feelings to myself. I actually don't really have anyone to speak to about my problems besides Pooh.

I don't want to worry any of my readers or anything. It's not like I've been properly diagnosed. I think it might just be that work has been really stressful. I've also been having some personal/relationship issues that I've been dealing with. I try to stay positive and tell myself that there is a gleam of light at the end of the tunnel, but my self responds back and says that it's slowly fading.

24 comments:

keewhee said...

hey, i think you need a holiday or something.

take a break and smell the roses.

take care yah.

Anonymous said...

If you are going somewhere for the holidays, consider north Luzon in the Philippines. Come to Ilocos Norte, enjoy the beach, the heritage sites, the eco adventures. If you want to party, there are limited options, but if you want quiet to listen to your soul and the sound of your own voice, this is the place.

Email me at rene.guatlo@gmail.com

Rene

BrutusVegas said...

Tig,

I suggested this before, I really think you should contact them. Please! What could it hurt? It could actual help you man. Please contact them or someone.

http://www.thecentersd.org/counseling_individuals_couples_family.php

tiggahtigz said...

lol thanks for the suggestion brutus...but I don't think we need couples counseling. :)

Anonymous said...

Hmm... sounds like you're stuck in a rut in life. ya know, sometimes it's better to embrace depression. No i don't mean celebrate it. Just accept that you are depressed and let yourself hit rock bottom with your feelings. Once you're there, you realize that there's nowhere to go but up and that in itself is something positive to look forward to :)

what I'm gonna say next may sound negative but i mean it in the most positive way: There are (some) times when no one, not even ur boyfriend, is gonna understand u better than u. Hence, no one can offer the best solace but urself. It's true there are more unfortunate ppl out there but it doesn't make our own problems negligible. Even small problems need extreme care and attention. Just make sure you recognize that you don't wallow in self-pity yea? There's a line and i don't think u've crossed it yet.

cheer up :) look at the big picture: will ur problems matter a year from now? :D

Anonymous said...

PS. The most important relationship is the one with yourself. Once you fix that, the rest of your relationships will improve :)

some alone time helps. and i don't mean deep self-analysis, i mean reading a book or seeing a movie alone etc. hugs

Anonymous said...

Seek the advice of you Doctor. The medications today are awsom. I went what you are going thru 10 yrs ago and was put on Prozac and it sure helped. dont be afraid its no different that getting treated for an infection. I would not start my day with out taking my meds ,I feel great.

Anonymous said...

no, not couples counseling, i mean for yourself and your depression and stress.

BrutusVegas said...

no, not couples counseling, i mean for yourself and your depression and stress. (oops sorry double post?)

Anonymous said...

hmmmmmm...i wonder what pooh thinks????

and if you got the answers to your depression problem kindly tell us...lots of people read your blog and one might be having the same situation...like me.

and its good that you can let out.

i'll keep on reading.

Moralia said...

quarter life crisis? been there and bought the t-shirt. ;D it'll get by.

Anonymous said...

am praying for you and everyone else feeling the same way... :-)

nathan_dlreyes

Heero Yuy said...

My dear Tigg I am so sorry you are feeling this way and I know where u are coming from in every way. I too battled with mild depression. I have this trait that i am so happy and upbeat about life but when it comes to me I dont have such a positive attitude. you have to take a moment to reflect on all the good in your life especially pooh..i know he is trying to help you as much as possible. I wont patronize u and say hang in there...You just hold on to what you have even closer than u usually do..and remember people care about you..always

Patric said...

Hello Tiggah,

Maybe a little break or new activity can help. We all have our ups and downs..the important thing is to find out how we can convert all the downs into ups!

Patric

Anonymous said...

dear tigz,
i happenned to read your comments a long time ago at migz blog a long time ago. you shared there that you could not understand tagalog words for you were raised in the US (?) i say, it's the time for you to go to the philippines. discover your roots. learn your parents' native tongue. sometimes, we need to have a reason to do something meaningful that will drive us to look at life differently. Shalom.

cynic123 said...

hey tiggah,

i can see from your photos that something is really bothering you. i'm not a professional counselor, but friends have benefited from my (sometimes unsolicited) advice.

you have to consider things like work. maybe you have been working too hard, something is bothering you at work, or you're not totally happy with what you're doing.

maybe you need some "me" time, where you take a day and just sit in a quiet bath and let your thoughts drift by.

then, some of the earlier posters may be right. you could be experiencing quarter life crisis.

maybe you should find someone else to talk to. a professional, or maybe even a stranger online who can keep your secret. sometimes, the advice of a person from outside your circle of friends make sense because they can see things in a more objective manner.

whatever you're going through, always know that life will turn out great, if you let it. don't let negativity get you down. deal with the problems slowly and one small bit at a time.

take it from someone who's gone through all of that.

hope things turn out well soon.

Anonymous said...

I only know you through your blog but from what you have shared with us, I believe your readers know that you have a truly good soul. There are always bumps along the way and sometimes those bumps turn into mountains that seem impossible to get over. However, anyone with a good soul will make across those mountains and find joy in the world on the other side. It is not an easy journey but will provide guidance when you need to remember what the journey was like the next time a mountain crosses your path. Today the mountain is daunting. Tomorrow it will seem less of a task and it will get easier as the days pass by. You are a good person, willing to share everything about yourself with your readers. Because you deserve happiness, it will find you.

ehjiboi said...

well, there'll be sunny days and there'll be rainy days. sometimes extremely rainy. stormy even.

but that's life. ΓΌ

blog hoppin.

Kimoochii said...

Buzzing your hair off was a mistake, and a typical sign of depression. Watch out for the urge to shave off your eyebrows, and don't do it. Think of "How can I make myself better looking?" This will lead to positive steps.

Gomez Patchouly said...

Contrary to the beliefs of most feel good pundits, it's OK to be in a bad mood once in a while. Look at the world me live in. No one can keep a happy go lucky attitude all the time. So wallow in your mood, even indulge a little good old fashioned self pity. There's nothing wrong with you except a case of being human. Now, if the symptoms you describe last more than a few days, then we have a problem. In the meantime, enjoy your blues, the name of one of our most expressive musical traditions, born out of suffering and sadness. Good luck, Tiggah. You are very loved. Gomez

dante said...

hi tiggah

i've been reading your blog for sometime now...and was surprise regarding your entry on depression, funny coz i also felt the same a couple of months ago if you dont mind you can check my website and i have an entry re: human nature...its my version of depression and i have embraced it, i wont tell you to do the same but i want to tell you that there are also people having the same feeling


ciao...mabuhay!

kiyoshii said...

even lovers need a holiday
it's like more one reflecting to yourself alone.....
sometimes a human feels that way...
like your in the middle of nowhere
anyways you'll be happy anytime soon... *cheers*

Anonymous said...

hang on there whatever you are going through...
just be glad at whatever you have...or not have for that matter as there are many others who might be in the worse position than you are...

stay cool bro..

Anonymous said...

hello tigz,
i had been diagnosed with an on and off depression since i was in college. often times my doctors would advice me to take meds for a period of 3months, during these periods you would often go to a psyc so he can evaluate what problems you have that needs to be addressed. one thing more is that you are an artist like me. artist tend to be moody at times. my doctor says that depression is a "normal" thing for artist to have. turn your depression into a fruitfull time, just do sketches, paint, draw. i know it's difficult to get interested in things during these times but you really have to push yourself. fake it till you make it. try to be happy, fake it if you must... you'll be amazed that one day you will realize that you dont have to fake it no more. best of luck. welart1978@yahoo.com